Stocking Stuffer Realness

Ok, these stocking stuffer posts are insane. You know the ones. They suggest stuffing your stockings with cameras, watches, shaving brushes (have you seen how expensive those are?), or iPods, for heaven’s sake. Look, I do nine stockings and not one of them is getting filled with even a disposable camera or a plastic razor.

What I need in my life are stocking stuffers that won’t kill my bank account while maintaining stockings as my favorite part of Christmas morning. Hence this year’s challenge: no stocking item will be over $5.00 while still being awesome. Here’s what I’ve come up with.



 We’re gonna read this like a book (mainly ’cause I forgot to put numbers in and I’m too lazy to fix it.) So ….

  1. Parking Citation pad $5.00 Got this for my husband who lives for road rage.
  2. Is This Your Best Work stickies $3.99 My brother-in-law’s a teacher. Perfect?
  3. Sorry not Sorry stickies $3.99 My BIL’s partner is a bit .. entitled. At least he knows it!
  4.  Music Notebook $3.25 My mother, a lifelong musician, will love this! Here’s more:music-notebook-inside
  5. Frog sticky notes $2.99
  6. Mental Note stickies $3.99 Remember? Contemplate? Eventually Forget?
  7. Screw It  stickies $2.99 (sale) Not for everyone, but for my husband ….
  8. Matryoshka Doll sticky flags $3.99 Mama loves all things Russian. And they’re cute!!
  9. Captain’s Log notebook $3.25 For any Star Trek fan. Just as cool as the Music Notes.
  10. Computer error stickies $3.99 Pick a computer lover, hater, fixer ….
  11. We Need to Talk stickies $2.99 (sale) I’m putting one in each kids’ stocking. we-need-to-talk-notes
  12. Paper Voodoo pad $3.00 Again, for someone I know who holds a grudge.


Remaining Stationery and Office Supplies


  1. Metallic Crayola colored pencils $3.99
  2. The Unemployed Philosophers Guild notebook $3.25 All the geekery ….uepg
  3. Dr. Seuss Green Eggs and Ham notepad $3.25
  4. Mini Masterpieces notebook  $3.25 Y’all, clearly I love these things. My daughter gets this one. mini-masterpieces
  5. Eiffel Tower pens These are $8.49/dozen. With nine stocking, that’s a great buy.
  6. Popcorn scratch ‘n stiff stickers $2.49 My son loves popcorn!
  7. Dr. Seuss pencils $3.99 Seven come in this pack. That’s $0.57/pencil and I spread them around.
  8. White polymer erasers $2.49 My husband loves these things. 3/pack
  9. Stargazing notebook $3.25 This is the last one. I promise. But they’re SO COOL. And many, many more designs available at The Unemployed Philosophers Guild.
  10. XL Christmas Pencils $2.48 for three 15″ pencils. Son, BIL, Step Dad.
  11. Magic 8 Ball Pens $7.49/dozen This may be my favorite silly thing for Christmas morning. Ask a question, click the pen, and get your Magic 8 ball answer. Everyone gets one!




  1. Peg Game $3.99 Ah, Cracker Barrel memories. Both kids get this one!
  2. Banana Slugfest $2.99 Slimy, sticky … a boy’s dream.
  3. Revenge Cards $1.99 50 suggestions for getting your revenge. Goes well with that voodoo pad!
  4. Twirl Time Glitter Wand $2.99 So much fun.
  5. Black Cat Ears Headband  $2.50 Every cat lover ever.
  6. Octopus Tentacle Fingers $6.99 My son BEGGED for these. Sigh.
  7. Blinking Reindeer Nose $1.99 This goes to my very serious, mid-50’s, professor brother. Everyone needs some silliness sometimes.
  8. Reindeer Antler Glasses $4.99 The company has the nerve to call these “tacky.”
  9. Glow in the Dark Spit Balls $2.99 Why do I do this to myself?
  10. Green Snotty Slime Kit $2.99 Can you tell I have a boy in the house?
  11. Space Plant $2.99 My son is obsessed with space.
  12. Solar System Stress Balls  $11.99 / 9 Everyone gets their favorite planet!
  13. 1040 Toilet Paper $3.00 Perfect for my step-father who despises doing his taxes!
  14. Giant Aspirin $4.99 Another silly item for my step-father.
  15. Money tissues $1.99 Yep, step-father again.
  16. And rounding out the bottom row for my step-father is this Credit Card Lightbulb. Normally $4.99, but on sale as I write this for $0.99!


Beauty Products


  1. L’Occitane hand creams $14.00 / set of 4 I’m never far from a tube of this stuff, which I hate myself for since they still test on animals. Anyway, break this set up and it’s $3.50/tube, which is a great deal for this usually expensive product. Even the boys get some! The shea butter feels great and has no discernible scent.
  2. Lavender Foot Mask $5.00 For both mom and mom-in-law. Also available in almond.
  3. Rosie the Riveter Lip Balm $3.99 How cute is she?
  4. Van Gogh’s Sunflower Soap $3.00 My daughter loves sunflowers. As with their notebooks, The Unemployed Philosophers Guild has a lot of these adorable little soaps. Folks in my fam are also getting:tiny-soaps
  5. Clinique Lip and Eye Pencil Sharpener $4.00 All the girls get one!
  6. Charcoal Swabs $3.00 Like Q-tips, but better. Check ’em out.
  7. Sisal Cotton Sponge $2.99 You wash my back ….
  8. Nail Polish Remover Wipes $5.00 / 10 Perfect for travel.
  9. Ice Cream Nail Files $3.99 Fun and useful
  10. Hello Kitty Lip Gloss $4.99 I have a serious Hello Kitty addict in my house!
  11. Anal Traveler Hand Sanitizer $3.99 Yes, we have someone who hates, hates, hates germs.
  12. Marvis Travel Toothpaste set $15.00 / 3 tubes … Classic Strong Mint, Whitening Mint, and Ginger Mint. All for the boys.

I have many, many more beauty and toiletry items. Most are travel size things like Listerine, dental floss, Shout wipes, Tide pens, Crest toothpaste, lip balm, Vaseline, Kleenex, mini lint rollers, etc. Many of these things I picked up very cheap via Amazon Prime Pantry. I also have a nice stash of samples from Sephora that will get divvied up.


Candy and Food


  1. Downton Abbey Orange Marmalade $4.99 No one loves Downton Abbey more than my Mom. Oh, she likes orange marmalade, too.
  2. Star Wars Jelly Bellies $3.27 / 3
  3. Bar Humbug! $4.95 Here we go again with my love affair for The Unemployed Philosophers Guild and their products, in this case, their fruit and nut bars with awesome packaging (including puzzles!). Here are the ones we’re doling out:uepg-bars-ssBar Humbug!, Einstein, Freud, The Last Supper, Sherlock Holmes. Isn’t it weird how that angle throws everything off? Geesh. So, check the bars out here. And no, I don’t work for these people.
  4. Chocolate Animal Coins $11.94 / 6 Little mesh bags filled with goodness.
  5. Rudolph tin filled with candy $3.99 I got two of these cute things!
  6. Umbrella Chocolates $9.95 / 5 These are SO CUTE.
  7. Hot Cocoa Spoons $4.98 / 2 Each kiddo gets one of these. Always good on snow days!
  8. BAWLS Caffeinated Mints $3.99 for 1 or a 4 pack for $9.99. I’m awake already!!
  9. Classic Batman Mints $2.99 My son loves mints and Batman. Win!
  10. Your Future Called gum $1.99 For my girl.
  11. Toblerone $14.95 / 5 small bars. Who doesn’t love Toblerone?
  12. More funny gum …. $1.99 Now be quiet .
  13. Falksalt Natural Sea Salt Flakes $3.49 (sale)  For my gourmand brother
  14. Herbes de Provence $2.49 (sale) I bought a couple for a couple family members who like to cook.
  15. Absinthe toothpicks $2.99 Great fun. I also picked up Bacon Toothpicks.
  16. Cute, but Psycho gum $1.99 We’re a little weird.
  17. Mister Rogers’ Encouragemints $3.00 Again with The Unemployed Philosophers! They’re just so clever. Here are the rest Santa’s bringing to our house:uepg-mints-ss


Household Fun-ness


1., 3., 4., and 6. are sets that can be broken up. Check out for more.

2  and 5 are each $1.59 on sale from Knock Knock, a perennial stocking stuffer favorite.

7 is our lone Dr. Who representative this year. $3.99 at

*And the rest ….misc-household-ss

  1. Santa Tumblers $3.98 set of 2 Melamine. One in my brother in law’s and one in his partner’s stockings.
  2. Stainless Steel Bar Spoon $2.99 For my brother, the at-home barkeep.
  3. Lucky Cat Figurine $7.98 set of 2
  4. UNC beverage napkins $1.97 Several schools available.
  5. Red Villa Striped Kitchen Tea Towel $2.99 (on sale) Great in any kitchen.
  6. and 7. Gray Silicone Spoon and Spoonula with Wooden Handles $3.99 each. Again, great in any kitchen and they’ll think you spent a whole lot more.

So that’s the round up for today. Good luck with your own stuffing! And if you find something cool for less than $5.00, please let me know!

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